Funny Kids Books by RK Alker Children's Author displaying his love for children’s books as a English childrens writer writing humorous children's books from Lancashire, England, United Kingdom Tel. 01772970190


Funny Kids Book Author From Lancashire

Hi, I’m a Children’s Fiction Author from Lancashire. I write or author funny kids books for age 7 upwards and rhyming picture books for young children aged 4-7 years.

Funny kids books in a fantasy adventure library by RK Alker Funny Kids Author
A library that leads to a funny kids book fantasy world. I write funny kids books for children.

Future Funny Kids Lancashire Book Releases

In my upcoming funny children’s fiction book for age 7 and up, a teenage girl comes of age on a whacky adventure with her cousins and archaeologist grandad to find and escape from the dragon-like beast. A 30,000-word funny, action-packed, sea and jungle quest with nail-biting plot twists.

Applause for Keyworkers NHS by RK Alker Children's Author Cook Grower Food Evangelist 999 Ambulance
RK Alker Children’s Author & 999 Emergency Ambulanceman fully supports the efforts of every single person from every walk of life in the battle against COVID-19 Coronavirus.

I am hopeful that the perfect publisher will contact me to provide the perfect home for my latest book.

How to do a Lockdown Haircut at Home with our Funny Kids Hair Suck Cut!

This is a top YouTube ranking funny video with our children of how to cut men’s hair in lockdown. It was shot and produced on a standard mobile phone and is a fun way to involve the kids (and a vacuum cleaner!!) to cut your husband’s hair at home!

Why not let me add a little pizzazz to your social media and website – I also do Website SEO & Social Media see:  WWW.ECKY-THUMP.COM   

R.K. Alker Children’s Author from Lancashire seeks a book publisher – listen to the story of how I came to write funny books for my children and find out about the little green man in makeup!

A bit of fun with a kids’ quick, no yeast, eggless pizza recipe with Franki and The Chilliman in the kitchen!

GET THE RECIPE CLICK HERE – Serves: 4 – Cooking Time: 10 minutes

…I also like to cook, did it for a living for a while as The ChilliMan from Little Green Men for more details see the Press Section Click Here


RK Alker offering a Free Author SEO & Online Marketing eLearning & Online Course Consultation for authors, writers, children’s authors and kids authors in Lancashire, England, United Kingdom 01772970190
I reached the very top of Google – You can follow in my footsteps with my SEO & online marketing training

Author SEO & Online Marketing eLearning & Online Course Consultation

I threw my hat in the ring as an online children’s author of funny books for kids and now I can legitimately say:

  • RK Alker Children’s Author is Google World Number One!

I think it is fair to say my SEO or online web ranking and online marketing skills are pretty good. Ten years ago, I was runner up finalist for Tourism Website of the Year. See the Press Section for more details.

Today I want to offer you the opportunity to follow in my footsteps. I have made a path to the very top. That search engine optimisation (SEO) and online success can happen for you too as you follow in my footsteps, with my help.

Contact Me Here


Book a £FREE Telephone Consultation

Author SEO Search Engine Optimisation & Online Marketing eLearning & Online Course

£FREE Author & Writer SEO Search Engine Optimisation & Online Marketing Consultation.

I will talk to you about your author online marketing hopes and dreams and see if I can help.

Whilst writing funny books for kids I achieved Google World Number One for over thirty children’s author categories and Google Page One for over fifty more kids’ author categories.

I succeeded in doing this for and now I offer to do it for you, or show you how to do it for yourself.

The link is to my telephone meeting scheduler called Calendly for my Digital SEO & Social Media business.

I look forward to chatting to you soon!

Warmest Regards

R.K. Alker Children’s Author

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Ecky-Thump Digital - Author SEO & Online Marketing by RK Alker Children's Author
Same as (Website / Social Media)

Coming Soon – Funny Kids Books Drawing Competition For Children

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Instagram @rk_alker

I am available for bookings.

Please get in touch using the contact form below.

Free School Visits Reading Funny Kids Books

I do offer some Free School Author Visits Click Here for more details

Available for reading funny kids books, talks and workshops.

Book Club Visits Reading Funny Children’s Books

Available for reading funny children’s books.

Author and Funny Kids Book Events

Readings, workshops, demonstrations, cookery, gardening, possibly chillies and much more! (read on for an explanation)

Contact me in sunny Lancashire for further details

R.K. Alker Funny Children’s Christian Author reading from the Fangazoo children’s rhyming picture book

The Story of My Writing Journey

I have swooned to and from writing children’s fiction for thirty years, but life always got in the way, mainly in a good way!

Beautiful Disaster

Just before my 50th birthday I suffered a serious knee injury whilst helping to save a life. A fair trade I thought – my health for theirs.

The silver lining was that whilst immobile I was struck by the irresistible urge to write for my children, and I began to write children’s books in verse.

My Kids Book Was Like Magic Beans

I have always loved the Julia Donaldson kids books and bizarrely I settled on a fantasy dragon-like beast whilst watching The Last Leg comedy programme on Channel 4 about the Koala Gala, and my funny kids books ideas began to blossom geometrically.

I wrote a series of funny kids books in verse.

The Funny Children’s Book Beanstalk

Then I was struck by the brilliant thought that I could combine two of the rhyming kids books into a plot. I began to pen a whacky action-adventure in the funny children’s book category dominated by the amazing David Walliams and David Baddiel.

I sat in front of my notepad and laptop furiously dreaming the hours away as I lived the exhilarating adventure of the two sisters, their grandad and cousins against the menacing dragon-like Fangazoo beast. My heart was racing as I laid down chapter after chapter of this funny 30,000-word middle-grade fiction book.

“The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.” Terry Pratchett

The edit took much longer than the first draft, but like the late great Terry Pratchett said “The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”

The Funny Children’s Fiction Golden Egg

I have a funny and exciting kids fiction book for children aged 7-12 years, with the added benefit of helping me through the rehabilitation of my knee.

Pastures New

It has not been a full recovery in terms of my knee injury. It is unfortunately forcing a change of career. My greatest hope, my dream, my prayer for the continuation of my silver lining is that I can start a new career, at age 50 – a late bloomer in the field of funny children’s fiction books.

R.K. Alker is an author of funny kids books from Chorley, Lancashire, England, United Kingdom.


Some literature that is not in the category of Funny Kids Books (and not from Lancashire!)


Funny kids books with a panda in a library by RK Alker Children's Author
Funny kids books read by a panda in a library.

New Children’s Book That Helps Kids Fall Asleep Is Now A #1 Best-Seller.

Bedtime for us has been a challenge and any book that helps a child fall asleep is mandatory!


Why Reading the Same Book Repeatedly Is Good for Kids (Even If It Drives You Nuts)

Any parent knows that reading to your child is a source of growth and I read an article recently that recommends reading the same book repeatedly – even if it drives you crazy!


funny kids books in a fantasy world written by RK Alker Funny Children's Author
Funny kids books in a fantasy world.

Children’s Book Grows Into a Tree When You Plant It

On the theme of growth. I was once one of the UK’s highest profile chilli growers and when I read about a book that grew into a tree I had to had to take a look.

Contact RK Alker Funny Children’s Writer From Lancashire Here

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FAQs – Children’s Author & Funny Kids’ Book Writing FAQ

Who is the best children’s book author?

R.K. Alker is the best children’s author in the world according to my little girls! Of course, there are kids’ author mega stars out there – I am climbing the Google rankings.

Who is the popular children’s story writer?

R.K. Alker Children’s Author now ranks #1 on Google as a children's story writer alongside the mega stars of the writing industry like Julia Donaldson, David Walliams and Roald Dahl. Watch my children’s writer videos to see how my funny kids’ books ended up so very highly ranked in the children's writing industry.

How do you become a children’s author?

1. Be good enough at English and Creative Writing to write a funny children’s book.

2. Get inspiration and a brilliant idea for a funny book for kids.

3. Read, read, read as many kids’ books as you can in your chosen field of children’s fiction or kids' writing genre.

4. Start writing that award winning funny book for children. Will your funny book into existence. Write a children’s book plot or just ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ and see where the kids' book writing journey takes you.

5. Read and reread you kid’s book. Edit your funny children’s book and keep improving the kids' book until you cannot improve any further.

6. Consider a proof-reader or an editor for your funny book for kids.

7. Take the plunge to try and hook a children’s literary agent, children's book publisher or even self-publish your funny kids' fiction masterpiece.

RK Alker is an author of funny children’s books from Lancashire, England, United Kingdom, Earth!

Find RK Alker Children’s Author Events, Book Readings, Children’s Bedtime Stories, Kids Storytelling, School Visits, Children’s Book Signings and more on Eventbrite.

My little girls think I am the Best Funny Kids Author in the World.

R.K. Alker is a Famous, Funny, Celebrity Children’s Author, Grower, Cook, Local Food Evangelist and an injured 999 Emergency Ambulanceman. His love for growing chillies made him the country’s highest profile chilli grower, champion of local producers and star of TV, radio and press.

Read RK Alker Funny Kids’ Author’s amazing story CLICK HERE

RK Alker is an author of funny children’s books, a famous chilli grower, cook, local food evangelist and food and drink event specialist from Lancashire, England, United Kingdom, Earth!

Find RK Alker Children’s Author Events, Book Readings, Children’s Bedtime Stories, Kids Storytelling, School Visits, Children’s Book Signings and more on Eventbrite.

My little girls think R.K. Alker is The World’s Best Kids’ Author.

R.K. Alker is also The Chilliman from Little Green Men a master of The Ancient Lancastrian Art of Ecky Thump! and can be found on