Funny Kids Books—Author From Lancashire
Hi, I’m a Children’s Fiction Author from Lancashire. I write or author funny kids’ books for age 7 upwards and rhyming picture, colouring and activity books for young children aged 4 upwards.
SCHOOL AUTHOR VISIT PRICES from £149
Includes: assembly, workshops, book signing, FREE bookmarks for everyone and competitions with prizes.
- Full School Author Visit of 7/8 classes – Cost £399
- Half Day – School Author Visit – Cost £249
- 2 Types of Long School Assembly of 45-60 minutes with a Q&A:
- 3.1. 1x For The Full Primary School – Cost £149
- 3.2. 2x Assemblies For 1. Upper + 2. Lower School – Cost £249
To Book – Contact Me – CLICK HERE
WARNING!
WARNINGMay cause sudden hunger and accidental life lessons…
NEW BOOK RELEASE: Gormlesster Gobblegeddon! …and the feast that wasn’t theirs.
Book 1 in the Gormlessters Series — for age 7 up.
Celebrity chefs, bad manners, and a deep spiritual belief that the snacks already belonged to them.
Meet the Gormlessters. They’re not evil… just gormless — stupidly unaware, especially when snacks are involved.
A wildly funny middle-grade comedy caper set at a food festival bursting with celebrity chefs, free samples, and one family with zero manners. When the Gormlessters arrive at GobbleFest, tiny greedy decisions quickly grow into full-scale Gobblegeddon.
Delicious chaos, served hot.
6×9 inch Premium Colour Text
written by RiK Alker Kids’ Author
“Inspired by my real-life food event capers as:
The ChilliMan vs Celebrity Chefs!”
BUY NOW £7.99 KINDLE £3.99 CLICK HERE
Gormlesster GobbleGeddon Colouring & Activity Book for Boys & Girls Ages 4 to 8
Ready, steady, scribble! Dive into 50 jam-packed pages of giggles and brain-boosting fun: puzzles; colouring; drawing; games and activities.
All designed to keep little hands busy and big imaginations buzzing.
BUY NOW £6.49 CLICK HERE
School Author Event Training Course for Writers
Your book deserves more than 250 lifetime sales. I’ve sold more in one school week! Inspire children with your book’s powerful message, master workshops, avoid ad-spend traps with free marketing, and sell more books.
£99. CLICK HERE
SCHOOL AUTHOR VISIT ONLINE TRAINING COURSE – Cost £99
A quick, 24-hour online course with 12 bite-sized lessons. Do-it-at-your-own-pace, write, plan and rock school workshops, events, and boost children’s book sales.
Are you struggling? …RiK teaches the teachers.
“Master School Visits: where chaos meets opportunity! Make kids laugh and sell books like a pro… because subtlety never worked anyway!”
If you think classroom FUN causes chaos — STOP! You’re doing it wrong.
“RiK fits around your life. Dip in. Binge. 1 day. 4 afternoons.12 stupidly easy 10‑minute lessons, plus exercises. PC or mobile.”
Find a school > Get booked > Get paid.
Admin?! — YUK! …Listen — it might save your sanity …and your bacon.
This cheeky, laugh‑out‑loud course includes a 1-second fix for disruptive behaviour, a full author day package from start to finish, boost sales, PLUS much more from an established author of ‘the self-publishing school of hard knocks.’
Blending 40 years of real‑world teaching from nursery to university masters, performing, storytelling, TV, media and occasionally hilarious chaos, this course gives you a backstage pass to unforgettable school visits.
“My 60,000-word secrets condensed in this roadmap will outsmart any unfair advantage… Enjoy the break I never received,” RiK x
This is my author’s guide to planning, writing and delivering children’s book workshops and events, including templates and practical examples to maximise your book sales.
BUY NOW £99 CLICK HERE
For More Details CLICK HERE
Lunch Break KidLit Book-Writing Bootcamp for Writers
No spare time? Stop saying, “I should write a book.” Write one. Steal 30 minutes. Learn anywhere on PC or mobile with 12 bite-sized lessons, practical exercises and resources simple enough for age 11+ (and adults too.)
£99 CLICK HERE
NEW CHILDREN’S BOOK – The Diabolical Dung Disaster!
LATEST RELEASE Summary or Blurb…
A funny comment that lion poo can repel a nuisance cat leads three girls into a daring, diabolical dung burglary at the zoo!
Fenced-in to a midnight game of cat and mouse, can they escape the deadly predators hunting them in the dark?
What could possibly go wrong?!…
For age 7 upwards.
Read Frankie and Charlie’s new adventure in this HILARIOUS break-in at the zoo to steal the poo!
- Educational content,
- Predator statistics,
- Comparison cards,
- Quiz, &
- 111 images!
Available in:
- 5×8 inch containing 111 Stunning Black & White Images
- 6×9 inch containing 111 Stunning COLOUR Images
- Kindle Book containing 111 Stunning COLOUR Images
- Accompanying Colouring & Activity Book for age 4 upwards
From International Best-Selling Author RiK Alker
BUY Diabolical Dung Disaster! – CLICK HERE
VIEW ALL AMAZON BOOKS – CLICK HERE
The Diabolical Dung Disaster Colouring & Activity Book
for Boys & Girls Ages 4 5 6 7 8 – Puzzles, Mazes, Dot-to-Dot, Word Search, Spot The Diff, Counting, Adding, Number Bonds & Cursive Writing
“Overflowing with hours of skill-building fun and relaxation for children aged 4-8.”
50 Pages of Colouring, Drawing, Puzzles, Mazes, Word Searches, Spot The Difference, Dot-to-Dot & Fun Educational Activities: Counting & Adding Up, Number Bonds to 10, & Guided Cursive Letter & Number Writing.
Tiered Service For Primary School Author Visits
Includes: assembly, workshops, book signing, FREE bookmarks for everyone and competitions with prizes.
Full School Author Visit of 7/8 classes – Cost £399
- Double/triple-entry? And want just 1x day? – Amalgamate the year groups, and perform all the workshops in the hall, or
- 1x Key Stage e.g. KS2 only in the classes, or
- 2x Days £699 (12.5% Discount)
Half Day – School Author Visit – Cost £249
- KS2 is usually chosen, but I am happy to do KS1.
Long School Assembly of 45-60 minutes with a Q&A – 2 Types:
1x For The Full Primary School – Cost £149
2x Assemblies For 1. Upper + 2. Lower School – Cost £249
Freebies, FREE Prizes, Competitions, and Materials Supporting All Formats of Primary School Author Days and Visits
- FREE Paper £1 Book Tokens to take home for book orders.
- Associated Digital Images to send to grown-ups.
- FREE Bookmarks for everyone.
- FREE Book for the school library.
- A workshop-related competition for the entire school with FREE separate book prizes for KS1 and KS2.
BEST-SELLING Funny Kids Book
My Grandad vs The Fangazoo…
“A funny book with some great lessons!”
A top-secret expedition unfolds for sisters Frankie and Charlie when they find the Fangazoo clue in crazy captain Sam’s rhyme. Can their archaeologist grandad complete one last BIG adventure with the girls and their cousins? Plunged into a hostile kingdom, how long before they face the Fangazoo? And, can they escape?
BUY Fangazoo for Age 7 Up (Key Stage 2) CLICK HERE
Fangazoo Colouring & Activity Book for Boys & Girls Ages 4 to 8 – Includes: Puzzles, Mazes, Dot-to-Dot, Word Search, Spot The Difference, Counting, Adding, Number Bonds to 10 and Cursive Writing.
BUY The Fangazoo Colouring & Activity Book for Ages 4 to 8 (Key Stage 1) CLICK HERE
Listen To The First Chapter of My Grandad vs The Fangazoo
Listen on YouTube to the First Chapter of the Audiobook of The Best-Selling, Funny, Illustrated, Children’s Adventure Novel: My Grandad vs The Fangazoo, read aloud by funny kids’ author RK Alker from Lancashire, England.
Read The First Chapter of My Grandad vs The Fangazoo
READ CHAPTER 1 PDF SAMPLE – CLICK HERE
Read The First Chapter of Amazon Best-Selling, Funny, Illustrated, Children’s Adventure Novel: My Grandad vs The Fangazoo by funny children’s author RK Alker, a writer from Lancashire, UK.
- Follow the link below to Amazon.
- Click the book image on the top left to “Look Inside” and read the first illustrated chapter of the Best-Selling book.
CLICK THIS LINK TO AMAZON TO “LOOK INSIDE” AND READ THE BOOK
R.K. Alker’s children’s author website is full of information here are some popular pages about this funny kids’ author:
R.K. Alker Author Profile
Who is R.K. Alker in 20 Seconds
How R.K. Alker Wrote Fangazoo in 40 Seconds
RiK Alker—from Tragic Injuries to Best-Selling Children’s Author
5-Star Book Reviews
School Author Visits
Library Author Visits
School and Library Author Visit Testimonials
The Famous ChilliMan Explained
Chilli Growing Instructions in 20 Seconds
Kids Gardening
999 Ambulances
…to read more about The Rockstar ChilliMan CLICK HEREHow To Self-Publish Funny Kids Books
It has been a heck of a journey to the publication of my debut novel and later books!
A personal plot twist presented me with the most unusual opportunity to achieve my dream of writing a book.
- R.K. Alker was university lecturer who left the rat race two decades ago for a life off-grid as the famous ChilliMan.
- During the recession, he changed career to serve on the UK 999 Emergency Ambulances.
- RiK Alker became a Best-Selling children’s author whilst recovering from career-ending injuries sustained in the line of duty.
“In my fifties, I am a late bloomer in the field of children’s fiction. I’ve wanted to write a book for 30 years! My injuries and inability to play with my two young kids formed the writing catalyst…
It turned out to be the best time to start my career as a children’s writer and draw upon my wealth of unusual life experience!”
From R.K. Alker International Best-Selling Writer of Funny Kids’ Books. A Lancashire Storyteller offering Library and School Author Visits and Readings.
R.K. Alker Children’s Author YouTube Videos Include:
Who is R.K. Alker Children’s Author in 20 Seconds? Funny Kids’ Book & Story Writer Summary CV (2022)
20-Second Summary of My Grandad vs The Fangazoo Funny Kids’ Book by RK Alker. Synopsis Precis (2022)
How RK Alker Wrote My Grandad vs The Fangazoo 40-Second Summary. His Best-Seller Inspiration (2022)
60-Second Summary of My Grandad vs The Fangazoo Funny Kids’ Book by RK Alker. Synopsis Precis (2022)
How to plan a primary school author visit. 8-point timetable plan. RK Alker Children’s Author (2022)
Coming Soon – Funny Kids Books Drawing Competition For Children
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I am available for bookings.
Please get in touch using the contact form below.
Free School Visits Reading Funny Kids Books
I do offer some Free School Author Visits Click Here for more details
Available for reading funny kids books, talks and workshops.
Book Club Visits Reading Funny Children’s Books
Available for reading funny children’s books.
Author and Funny Kids Book Events
Readings, workshops, demonstrations, cookery, gardening, possibly chillies and much more! (read on for an explanation)
Contact me in sunny Lancashire for further details
Watch R.K. Alker Funny Children’s Christian Author reading from the Fangazoo children’s rhyming picture book.
The Story of My Writing Journey
I have swooned to and from writing children’s fiction for thirty years, but life always got in the way, mainly in a good way!
Beautiful Disaster
Just before my 50th birthday, I suffered a serious knee injury while helping save a life. An unfortunate trade—my health for theirs.
The silver lining was that whilst immobile and unable to play with my kids, I was struck by the irresistible urge to write for my children, and I began to write children’s books in verse.
My Kids Book Was Like Magic Beans
I have always loved the Julia Donaldson kids’ books and bizarrely I settled on a fantasy dragon-like beast whilst watching The Last Leg comedy programme on Channel 4 about the Koala Gala, and my funny kids books ideas began to blossom geometrically.
I wrote a series of funny kids books in verse.
The Funny Children’s Book Beanstalk
Then I was struck by the brilliant thought that I could combine two of the rhyming kids books into a plot. I began to pen a whacky action-adventure in the funny children’s book category dominated by the amazing David Walliams and David Baddiel.
I sat in front of my notepad and laptop furiously dreaming the hours away as I lived the exhilarating adventure of the two sisters, their grandad and cousins against the menacing dragon-like Fangazoo beast. My heart was racing as I laid down chapter after chapter of this funny 31,000-word middle-grade fiction book.
“The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.” Terry Pratchett
The edit took much longer than the first draft, but like the late great Terry Pratchett said “The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”
The Funny Children’s Fiction Golden Egg
I have a funny and exciting kids fiction book for children aged 7-12 years, with the added benefit of helping me through the rehabilitation of my knee.
Pastures New
It has not been a full recovery in terms of my knee injury. Sadly, North West Ambulance Service NHS Trust terminated my employment, due to my knee injury, during the first COVID-19 lockdown. Since then, times have been hard for me, my wife and young children.
Kids’ Author Hopes & Dreams
My greatest hope, my dream, my prayer for the continuation of my silver lining was that I could start a new career, at age 50—a late bloomer in the field of funny children’s fiction books.
Dreaming It Up and Making It Real!
During lockdown I worked hard to develop my books, presentations, author days, videos, audiobooks, and internet and social media content, and it has finally begun to pay dividends…
R.K. Alker is a best-selling children’s author of funny kids’ books from Chorley, Lancashire, England, United Kingdom.
This literature is interesting, but not from #Lancashire or falls in the category of Funny Kids’ Books
Funny kids books read by a panda in a library.New Children’s Book That Helps Kids Fall Asleep Is Now A #1 Best-Seller.
Bedtime for us has been a challenge and any book that helps a child fall asleep is mandatory!
http://upworthy.com/new-childrens-book-that-helps-kids-fall-asleep-is-now-a-1-best-seller
Why Reading the Same Book Repeatedly Is Good for Kids (Even If It Drives You Nuts)
Any parent knows that reading to your child is a source of growth and I read an article recently that recommends reading the same book repeatedly – even if it drives you crazy!
http://readbrightly.com/why-reading-the-same-book-repeatedly-is-good-for-kids/
Funny kids books in a fantasy world.Children’s Book Grows Into a Tree When You Plant It
On the theme of growth. I was once one of the UK’s highest profile chilli growers and when I read about a book that grew into a tree I had to had to take a look.
http://goodnewsnetwork.org/book-grows-into-tree/
Contact RK Alker Funny Children’s Writer From Lancashire Here
Please fill out your details below
FAQs – Children’s Author & Funny Kids’ Book Writing FAQ
Who is the best children’s book author?
R.K. Alker is the best children’s author in the world according to my little girls! Of course, there are kids’ author mega stars out there – I am climbing the Google rankings.
Who is the popular children’s story writer?
R.K. Alker Children’s Author now ranks #1 on Google as a children's story writer alongside the mega stars of the writing industry like Julia Donaldson, David Walliams and Roald Dahl. Watch my children’s writer videos to see how my funny kids’ books ended up so very highly ranked in the children's writing industry.
How do you become a children’s author?
1. Be good enough at English and Creative Writing to write a funny children’s book.
2. Get inspiration and a brilliant idea for a funny book for kids.
3. Read, read, read as many kids’ books as you can in your chosen field of children’s fiction or kids' writing genre.
4. Start writing that award winning funny book for children. Will your funny book into existence. Write a children’s book plot or just ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ and see where the kids' book writing journey takes you.
5. Read and reread you kid’s book. Edit your funny children’s book and keep improving the kids' book until you cannot improve any further.
6. Consider a proof-reader or an editor for your funny book for kids.
7. Take the plunge to try and hook a children’s literary agent, children's book publisher or even self-publish your funny kids' fiction masterpiece.
Who is RK Alker Children’s Author?
R.K. Alker Best-Selling Children’s Author was born in the UK, but he was MADE IN LANCASHIRE!
He is famous as the TV & Radio ChilliMan aficionado and a champion of local producers or “Food Evangelist!”
R.K. Alker has a career spanning more than 3 decades of university lecturing, content writing, UK 999 emergency ambulances, media and entertainment as the colourful TV ChilliMan which contributed to this hilarious children’s adventure book written for his kids.
Read RK Alker Funny Kids’ Author’s amazing story in the PRESS SECTION CLICK HERE
RK Alker is an author of funny children’s books from Chorley, Lancashire, England, United Kingdom, Earth!
His little girls think RK Alker is the Best Funny Kids Author in the World.
Find RK Alker Children’s Author Events, Book Readings, Children’s Bedtime Stories, Kids’ Storytelling, School Author Visits, Children’s Book Signings and more on Eventbrite.
R.K. Alker is also The Chilli man from Little Green Men, a master of The Ancient Lancastrian Art of Ecky Thump! and can be found on Instagram, Blogger.com & Yell
