RK Alker Lancashire Author

Funny Kids Books by RK Alker Children's Author displaying his love for children’s books as a English childrens writer writing humorous children's books from Lancashire, England, United Kingdom Tel. 01772970190RK Alker Lancashire Author is a funny children’s book writer from Lancashire, England, United Kingdom.


Where Was RK Alker Lancashire Author Born?

I grew up in a typical sleepy English Northern Lancashire village. I loved reading and funny kids books as a schoolchild.


RK Alker Lancashire Author in the Lancashire Hotpot Mines of Ye Olde Rivington PikeThe Childhood of RK Alker Lancashire Author or Writer

In-between the usual daily rigmarole of school lessons, reading funny children’s books and homework, I was heavily involved in cleaning the inside of chimneys, slaving in the Ye Olde Lancashire Hotpot Mines of old Rivington Pike natural volcanic hotpot springs, and mastering the Ancient Lancastrian Art of Ecky-Thump.


Only then could I graduate to holding the prestigious Lancashire flat cap, pipe and whippet as a master chimney scrubber like the late great chimney expert and steeplejack Fred Dibnah, which incidentally is not profession to be sniffed at (certainly no sniffing inside the sooty chimneys!)


The Goodies: The Battle of Ecky Thump

Ecky-Thump is a skilful martial art using special black puddings as a form of self-defence which found fame in the BBC TV series The Goodies.


Ecky-Thump Digital

Therefore, it is no surprise that our digital media company which provides social media marketing, PR and website design is called Ecky-Thump Digital.



RK Alker Lancashire Author Had The Usual North West English Childhood

I grew up as one of (Margaret) Thatcher’s children – summer of ’69 dude!

Confused by greed, often pondering the phrase “What’s in it for me?” Over time I managed to throw off the shackles of consumerism, veered sharp left from the rat race and engaged in a bonkers life less ordinary.


Plan A = Banking

Took a solid career in banking in the mid-80s. It turned into quicksand.


RK Alker Funny Kids Writer University Lecturer in a University Library Full of Funny Children's Books

Plan B = University Lecturer

I went back to university in the 1990s. Student became master and I progressed to university lecturing in economics, business and MBA.


Plan C = RK Alker Lancashire Author, Secret Agent

I started taking risks. My (hush hush!) career as a secret agent landed me in a spot of bother, so…


Plan D = PR, Digital, Social Media Marketing & Website Design


I decided to diversify and ran some IT and web businesses, did quite well, but my passion was my hobby of chilli growing.

Well, you know me, why follow a solid profitable business route when you can give it away and plant some magic beans instead!


Plan E = Ecky-Thump

The Martial Art of Ecky Thump

As a skilled practitioner and black and white speckled belt holder of the Ancient Lancastrian Art of Ecky Thump it seemed only natural to try and grow my own black puddings. The making of black puddings is a skilled art known only by the highest ranking and most trusted masters of the Art of Ecky Thump and although I planted back puddings in plant pots around the house and in all my borders in the garden – my efforts failed.  I was not without fans – the birds seemed to think it was a brilliant idea!


Plan F – The Chili Growing ChilliMan from www.LittleGreenMen.co.uk

Did I mention I had a hobby? …Chillies, or is it Chilis? The spelling varies from chili or chile to chilli – take your pick, they are all RED HOT! like sticking a red-hot coal from a furnace in your mouth. Why I insist on eating them I will never know, but I love them. They had the added benefit of being brilliant for self-defence purposes. So, I began to grow those instead, and lo and behold I seemed to be pretty good at it.


RK Alker Lancashire Author AKA The ChilliMan from LittleGreenMen Chilli

RK Alker Lancashire Author AKA The ChilliMan from www.LittleGreenMen.co.uk

Chilli Rich on the BBC

From some magic seeds I created The Chilliman. As you can see, he was no ordinary sleepy horticultural chilli grower from the back woods. Oh no, I sprinkled him with my own brand of pizzazz and stormed onto the scene as The Chilliman.

I pursued my dream and passion as a chilli grower www.littlegreenmen.co.uk . As a champion of local producers, we made chilli products together and I performed event cookery with my trademark great big pans.


Fun – Lots of Fun

The thing about the love of doing something is that it is infectious and fun. It naturally flows into and out of everything you do and people like and respond to that. I hope you feel the same thing about my funny way of writing.


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About Me Continued Below…

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And of course you can contact me here


Little Green Men Chilli Products – Can You Put Chilli In It?

Anyway. I went from growing chillies on my windowsill to working with some amazing local food producers and making chilli products like chilli cheese, chilli chocolate, chilli jam, chilli chutney – you get the idea, I was quite famous for saying “can you put chilli in it?” and then surprisingly – putting chilli it and selling it as a product!

Although, note to self, the chilli soap might have been a bridge too far and I flatly refused to go anywhere near the chilli underpants idea!


Media Attention and Resultant Fame

My passion, the fun, the ChilliMan makeup and educating the masses about chillies, their cooking and positive benefits catapulted me into a river of media attention and I found fame: lots of mainstream TV, radio and publications, supplying Michelin starred and celebrity chefs. I met the big celebrity chefs. I did big shows and TV with them, and even went on The F-Word Final with Gordon Ramsay.

Read more in the Press Section Click Here

Local Food Hero – Local Food Champion

My work with and as a local producer gifted me entry into the UKTV Local Food Hero competition and I could not believe it when I ended up a finalist – like a champion of local food producers!


RK Alker Lancashire Author is Chilli Rich The Chilli Grower from Little Green Men Chili

I Loved My Job

Let’s just say I loved this job like nothing I had ever done before and it beat the pants off cleaning chimneys and slaving in the Ye Olde Lancashire Hotpot Mines and volcanic hotpot springs!


What Does Recession Mean?

For me it meant falling sales whilst running a massive chilli facility. I also did lecturing and IT contracts to keep my dream alive – I worked 3 jobs, and wore myself out. Alas, in the height of the recession and the low of my chilli sales revenue it came to the point where chilli growing had to return to being just a hobby…


Plan G – RK Alker Lancashire Author Helping People

I thought I would help people instead. Helping people seemed humble and the right thing to do. I made it a profession and during the last decade I have worked for charities and public services going into situations where no one else will, saving lives on the 999 emergency ambulances and trying to help people, but I got hurt on an ambulance as I turned fifty years of age and could not do it anymore.


RK Alker loves writing funny kids books to make children laughPlan H = Happy – RK Alker Lancashire Author of Funny Children’s Books – I LOVE THIS JOB!

Tell me this, who put into my mind the idea to write the most enjoyable and amazing books I have ever had the pleasure of being involved in?

Who said to me go and write that book you have been waiting more than thirty years to pen?

Who took me from the nightmare of a career-changing knee injury to the dreamland of The Fangazoo?

Who brought happiness where there was despair?

…Do you believe in God?


Children Are A Blessing

I love my kids. I think rhyming children’s picture books or picture books in verse for 4-7-year-old children are amazing, like the Julia Donaldson.

Unsurprisingly, my niece likes David Walliams.

Immobility for a long period gifted me the time to read for all the children at my eldest child’s primary school.

I started to write for my children and loved producing the poems or rhyming books for 4-7-year-old kids.

I was then struck by a lightning bolt (complete unprovoked coincidence? or divine intervention?) and combined the books in verse into a plot and began to write for my children – what an absolute joy!

I could not put my 30,000-word, funny, kids fiction, action-adventure book down in development and I have many more planned.


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So, In Short, About RK Alker Lancashire Author:

  • I write funny children’s books
  • You may have found me on the first page of Google or Bing – for a number of categories – why?…
  • I’m reasonably good at digital marketing – I can do PR, media and digital. (see Ecky-Thump)



  • I have led a life less ordinary, taken risks: returning to university, lecturer, social media & web designer; cook, MC, food event compere, charity worker, 999 life-saver and business owner.

There is a lot more – maybe I’ll tell you over a cup of tea one day.

If you like what you see perhaps you could

  • Subscribe to my email list (at the right side or at the bottom of the page)
  • And receive more of my stories and updates.

  • Maybe even hit me up on the Social Media (links provided at the top)
  • And of course you can contact me here


Vaya con Dios

RK Alker Lancashire Author

R.K. Alker is a funny children’s book author from Lancashire, England, United Kingdom.

My little girls think I am the Best Funny Kids Author in the World.

R.K. Alker is a Famous, Funny, Celebrity Children’s Author, Grower, Cook and Local Food Evangelist. His love for growing chillies made him the country’s highest profile chilli grower, champion of local producers and star of TV, radio and press.

Read RK Alker Funny Kids’ Author’s amazing story CLICK HERE

RK Alker is an author of funny children’s books, a famous chilli grower, cook, local food evangelist and food and drink event specialist from Lancashire, England, United Kingdom, Earth!

Find RK Alker Children’s Author Events, Book Readings, Children’s Bedtime Stories, Kids Storytelling, School Visits, Children’s Book Signings and more on Eventbrite.

My little girls think R.K. Alker is The World’s Best Kids’ Author.

R.K. Alker is also The Chilliman from Little Green Men a master of The Ancient Lancastrian Art of Ecky Thump! and can be found on Blogger.com